One of the best parts of being in my college(Dont ask the name...you would regret knowing it probably...needless pain) is the first hand experience that every student would get regarding the various goof-ups that frequent around quite innocently.
Ask anyone about this and they would say "ringside seats throughout".To top it all off life jogs on just the same from the very next day;completely oblivious in every way.
So,this is where i come in.My Ringside-seat first- hand experience.
My attendance firstly, being nothing to write home about(let alone my marks)ironically, was sent by mail to the good ol'crumbs at home.One look at the threatening,sinister letter consisting of nothing but broken english would convince anyone even from planet mars that it was worth a one way trip to the garbage disposal(all expenses paid,of course),but my folks being from a far away galaxy took it big.Not the reaction i wasn't expecting but nonetheless they turned the whole incident into a high school production...yes,bad acting included just like the high school kids nowadays...because i could see that it was all pure sauce right from the word go.
My father never having toed the line during his formative years could hardly have expected me to do so,right?.i mean,blood is blood.Try as much as you like, you cant get rid of it,what?
So,after getting all worked up and throwing his weight about a bit,he gave me the usual talk about discipline and what not and finally when the smoke cleared,i could see that he had moved on in life and was instead busy pushing off to earn the daily bread.Bit of a relief.I mean much as the bad acting gave it away,i still couldnt help but feel a bit perturbed.This recent turn of events looked like the preview before the curtain went up...and my suspicisions only deepened about the looming future.I told myself that its time i was a bit on the safe side.
And so,Life moved on and a week later i found myself in a state of apoplexy...u know very close to getting a brain replacement.You see,What with all the attendance playing around in my mind and some of my best pals in real hot soup(i wasnt the only one who experienced the high school drama),i pretty much found myself attending every single class.Soon enough,i realised that drastic steps needed to be taken in the right channels.And realising that the time was ripe,I inititated a battle cry and soon enough had the good ol chums nodding their heads in agreement.
One minute,cursing the good ol prof and the next min.thanking the luncheon bell.We had a good 50 minute break and after having made a beeline to the canteen,we got out of college.Oh,the freedom...unimaginable...we were in a word'elated'.
We hung around trying to formulate a plan but we were hindered in our attempts owing to the the fact we never had made one in our entire lives.After much dispute and what-not we decided to catch a movie.A good 20 kms. max.But,we didnt let this weigh us down.The good ol bulldog spirit shone through and we set off on our journey.
But did you notice one dashed difficult thing about life?Just when you're feeling all bucked up,it comes and bites you in the rear.And this is exactly what had happened.We were tooling along quite happily,on our way,when my phone started to ring.It was one-thirty in the afternoon,i remember... (dont ask me how,its one of those things...) and after having removed it with great difficulty saw the familiar name "dad" shining brightly!!!
I was shocked.More than anything,i had to control myself from wetting my pants.Because although my mind was never at ease since the drama incident at home,i never fully expected the night mares to come true.I mean,when your dreams about gold mines and dancing girls in grass skirts never become reality,you are allowed to not expect nightmares to apparate in font of you.So,what with all this concentration on a hundred things(it does feel like a hundred things...try holdin it in in a bumpy auto!!!) i sounded like a dying duck when i answered with a timid but painful"hello".
After enquiring as to why i sounded like a broken gramophone record,he asked me where i was.The automated reply was sent back to him instantly-"in college,of course,where else...?".Being on the offensive you see...the best form of defence.Having heard this,he switched to a side track which led to the point under issue.He said"i have decided to come to your college today to have a chat with your H.O.D.i have already started...on my way.hope we can resolve this attendance issue of yours today.See you in college."He hung up.One glance at my face,it was enough for a passer-by to notice that something was amiss with comrade ysk.
And when asked why i looked like the above-mentioned duck,i put them abreast of the recent turn of events and i was glad to see that my pals took it big .I mean it WAS a life and death situation but there were more sorrowful looks rather than hopeful looks.Deciding that it was just making matters more pointless,i bade them a not-so-cheerful goodbye and some of them pushed along(curse them!)and the remaining decided to carry what was left of me back to college.
dashed unpleasant of course.But it was one of those days.Sunny on the outside but sheltering a grey cloud on the inside.
Having made a hasty trip back to college i ran through the parking only to see that the ol man's car wasnt among those present.Puzzled, i ran across the ground hoping to get a glance at the man of the moment.But,he was nowhere to be seen.This was really odd,i felt.He should have been here by now having started quite an hour back.One hoped that he was caught in a traffic jam.But,it wasnt a time to dwell.And anyone knowing me would say that i wasnt the dreamer type.A man of action would be much more appropraite in describing me.So,having picked up the feet i made my way to the class in good time.
Having entered the class i went and placed myself in my usual seat(a goodish distance separating me and the prof.) only to see that a short drama was taking place in front of me.
Now,this prof. of mine who was taking the class isnt what you would call an unpleasant cove.Quite amicable really,if one had known him outside the class.But,once he crosses that thin line between the Beautiful,outside world and the smelly interiors of our humble abode,he dons the role of mr.hyde.And he plays the part quite beautifully.I had already experienced it today, when i asked him if i could enter the class.He shot me a look as if he i was asking him how many daughters he had or something.Add to this, an office boy had entered and from what i heard from the neighbouring chaps,it was the third time in a row in the last 10 mins.I felt sorry for the chap(the office boy of course, not good ol hyde)...for i knew he was about to have it from mr.hyde.And, before anyone could say anything he cleared his throat and called out my name"ysk chaitanya".
I stood up as slowly as i could and having placed me announced that the H.O.D wanted to see me.After a brief pause(in which i was writing out my will), i walked out and submitted myself to the frightful ordeal that was about to commence.I entered the designated room and soon found myself closeted with a bald chap and a not-so-bald chap(the HOD and my dad).
After an hour of listening to the chaps in front of me sharing their views about life,education,my marriage and how low i wear my trousers,the guardian angels decided to call it a day.
The relief was incredible.
I had passed through the furnace.Feeling that i could have gladly swapped places with a polar bear stuck in egypt,i pottered out.But,i didnt get far enough.Just as i was disappearing round the corner i heard the ol'man calling out my name saying that he would like to have a word with me on the way to the car.Realising that it had been too good to be true , I followed him moodily.
The first thing that i noticed about him was that he seemed to be lost in thought about something.And i had a feeling that it had nothing to do with me because when it comes to giving me the good ol'kick in the pants,he rarely hesitates.Like i said earlier,a man of action...like father,like son.So,wondering what it could be i followed him in silence waiting for him to open up.
He looked at me and said"what a college!One of the craziest loony bins ive set foot in."I woke up like a freshly watered flower.Maybe after all, my dad was from mars."So unorganized and confused."Did you know that i had to wait for a full half-hour before they could really locate you?The bungling fools first got your roll number wrong and a boy with a face like a fish rolled into the room...Both the boy and i were quick to agree that it wasnt you.Then,they got another chap with a name similar to yours but his initial was nowhere close to yours and finally after what felt like a year or so,they were able to bung you into the room.What a college,i tell you...a real circus freak show!!!"
All i remember next is being rooted to the spot where my dad left me and i just about tried to look normal as i saw him getting into the car and drive away.
Now, you may have noticed that i took no part in the previous conversation.I maintained what is known as a dignified silence.But on the inside,i was dancing like a spanish tap dancer.is it spanish or mexican?Regardless of the native origin of the dance,i had a pretty good feeling that if i were on stage,i would have managed to bring the plaster from the ceiling.
And this was why i was on top of the world:
It was'nt that i was shocked at the sudden revelation of a humane side to my dad's general outlook towards life but it was the stupendous discovery of having escaped from the jaws of misery by a mere hair's breadth.All this while,i was cursing my luck which had suddenly changed but my real guardian angel had not been asleep while i was passing through the furnace.
Thanks to the bungling fools at my college who managed to muck up so badly,that they bought me the additional time that i had so badly needed to get back to class and thus avoid the discovery, of me being absent from class, by my dad.
Well,who would have thought that the people responsible for all this mess in the first place would actually help me out in the end?I did not for sure,and that is exactly why i love being in this college cuz you can always rely on them to slip on the banana skins that they had planted for you in the first place!!!
